


I Will Wait For You

by simplyfj



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, I’m new to this forgive me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:06:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23870548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplyfj/pseuds/simplyfj
Summary: “He whispered it. A name that teased her mind, flitted behind her closed eyes, danced on the tip of her tongue, but refused to take hold.”A short drabble on the loss of the apprentice and the sacrifice to get her back
Relationships: Apprentice/Asra (The Arcana)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	I Will Wait For You

The world looked different from this perspective. The colors were strange. She couldn’t decide if they were more vibrant, or somewhat dimmer, it seemed every time she tried to focus on them, they changed and she couldn’t pin it down. The beach below her was softer than she remembered sand being, yet more resistant. She didn’t leave a single mark where she sat. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, staring out over the gently rolling waves as they lapped the shoreline. She was waiting. What was she waiting for? She couldn’t remember. The water sounded too distant, she could see it only feet from her, but it sounded like it was a ways off. It was distracting. Why was she sitting here? Where was here? She had no idea how much time passed, time also seemed to operate on a different set of rules wherever this was. The sun always seemed to shine on her, but she could never spot it in the sky. It was pleasantly warm, no scorching heat or chilling wind disturbed her. It was just… calm. Quiet. 

Peaceful.

She sat there without urge to move or explore her surroundings, unsure why she felt so content to just stay in one place. It was like she was rooted, something was holding her there, some promise she had made that danced just out of reach of her memory, teasing her, but not enough to frustrate her. Whatever this place was, it was extremely neutral, she wasn’t even sure she could remember what strong emotions felt like, much less muster them up. Part of her thought that should bother her, but she couldn’t manage to feel bothered. For a long time she simply watched the waves, heard the echoes of gulls overhead, as if through water, muted and distorted, but recognizable. She sat comfortably. 

Until everything shifted. The ground shook for a moment, displacing her slightly, and sending a thrill of concern through her like a shot of adrenaline. For just a moment she remembered what it was to feel scared, uncertain, confused. The colors dimmed, everything faded to a grey scale, until the only thing that remained vibrant was the only other person on that beach. She watched as he ran down the sand, stumbling as it shifted under him, white hair caught in the wind that blew in off the water, purple eyes wide and anxious. He looked like he was looking for something, dreading what he might find. 

There was a tug at her heart. An uncomfortable wrenching as memory trickled back to her. She was waiting for him. She couldn’t leave without seeing him. She needed to make sure he would be ok. She needed to say goodbye.

_Asra._

The name exploded in her mind, and he stumbled, visibly shocked as he seemed to hear it too. She remembered now, why she was sitting on top of that small mound in the sand, why she was on this beach, why she couldn’t look behind her. The days of dry, labored breathing. The sleepless nights where she couldn’t remember what it felt like to not ache everywhere. The crushing knowledge that her time was running out, and her final moments would be a struggle. And that he wouldn’t be there for them. 

Asra fell to his knees in the sand before her, a strangled, desperate cry escaping him as he started to dig. She wanted to stop him. Wanted to run her fingers through that messy hair of his. Wrap her arms around him and promise everything would be fine. It would be a lie, but it didn’t make her want it any less. She reached a formless hand towards him, hovering it over his heart, knowing if she reached further she would pass right through him. They were separated by a veil she could not pierce, a barrier as thick as the despair welling up in her heart, knowing this was how she would have to leave him. It hurt, and that searing pain cut through her, bringing the world around her into sharp relief for a moment, returning her memories and her emotions. Tears glided down her face as she felt soundless sobs shake her body. His hands were bleeding, but he was still digging, and wouldn’t stop until he finally reached what was left of her. 

Charred bones and ash. All that remained to prove that she had existed, mixed amongst what was left of the others who had died beside her. 

She watched as he stared, disbelieving for a long moment, before he crumpled in half, shaking, but the world was fading again. She had held on longer than she was meant to, desperate to see him once more, even when she hadn’t remembered why. Something told her she wasn’t supposed to be here, that she had stalled the inevitable, but she wanted to stay with him. There was a pull she couldn’t identify though, tugging her away. She felt like she was slowly disintegrating. Flecks of her broke off and floated with the wind, carrying away what was left of her. 

_I’m sorry._

Time was suddenly moving too quickly. The sun was setting, the warmth and peace she had felt here faded with the light, leaving her cold and afraid. She didn’t know what would happen now, all she knew is wherever it was she was going, he wasn’t going to be there waiting for her. She reached for him, knowing she couldn’t hold onto him, but desperation won out over logic. Just one more moment. Just one last word. One last look into those depthless, purple eyes. One last chance to tell him…

_I love you._

Her voice had already been stolen away on the breeze. Her lips moved silently, tears fell down her face and shattered into dust, flowing away from her as the wind became stronger. Her heart beat in a chest that was quickly dissolving and every beat sent his name resonating through her, a silent plea to stay with him. She clung with every ounce of strength and resolve she still had in her, finally closing her eyes as the last of her was swept away like so much stardust.

_Remember me._

There was nothing around her now except an endless tapestry of stars, winking into and out of existence. Once again, a calm washed over her, taking the pain and grief no matter how hard she tried to cling to it. 

Because it was all she had left of him. 

She was left feeling languid, 

floating 

untethered 

as the last of her emotions and memories melted away. 

She was just peace. 

Calm. 

A dream lost in a void, waiting to be remembered.

_I will wait for you._

She could have been there for minutes or eons, there was no way to know, and no reason to care. 

But her endless drifting was interrupted by that unpleasant tugging sensation again. 

It was different now, incessant where it had been gradual, harsh where it had been gentle, demanding where it had been suggestive. For a moment she was jolted, and resisted, but the fight she had had in life had been replaced with a quiet apathy. 

She let go, let herself be pulled backwards, watched the stars recede with a soft sadness she could hardly understand. The peace she had become accustomed to shattered in an instant, shocking her and forcing a startled and half choked cry to escape her burning throat. Everything hurt. Her whole body, she had forgotten what it felt like to have a form, but now the pain of that reality was too much for her. Her eyes squeezed shut and her jaw clenched and she wasn’t sure if she could hold on to whatever sanity she might possess. The pain and fear were washed away seconds later, and the feeling of cool, tingling magic calmed her as it spread over her limbs. 

The agony from a moment ago was the only thing she could hold in her memory. Everything that had come before slipped from her like water through cupped hands. The light was too bright for her eyes, the sound of the world to loud for her ears. She moaned in pain, struggling to focus, and not even sure how to form her thoughts into words. As her eyes cleared, she blinked, staring up at a man with white hair and bright purple eyes, filled with concern. There was something there, something so familiar and yet he was foreign to her. She tried to reach for the fragment of memory, but the effort was taxing. She lifted a shaking, heavy arm to cover her face, struggling to remember how to speak, and realizing words had fled from her. She looked back up at him, the tears threatening to spill down her face, and shook her head. The crestfallen look on his face was enough to tell her that he shouldn’t be a stranger.

“Asra”

He whispered it. A name that teased her mind, flitted behind her closed eyes, danced on the tip of her tongue, but refused to take hold. Her head ached the harder she tried to pin it down.

“I’m sorry”

The words came out in a strangled sob as he brushed her hair from her face, resting a palm on her cheek. The feeling was like warm flames that licked harmlessly against her, inviting and yet foreboding. It felt right, familiar, like she could sink into him and be home, or perhaps fall and never reach the bottom. A weight settled in her chest, threatening to stop her newly formed lungs before they had completely learned how to breath.

He looked frantic, searching her face for any sort of sign that she was still there, still the woman she was supposed to be. She couldn’t remember who that was. She reached for him, desperate for something solid to hold on to, to drag her fully back into this reality instead of the space between that she seemed to be straddling now. He took her hand and held it against his heart so she could feel the beat of it. It sent a shock through her. She focused on the steadiness of it, the strength of that pulse, until she felt her own mirror it. Her breathing calmed and her muscles relaxed as their hearts beat in unison, and a small, hopeful smile curved his lips. He was at a loss for a long moment, silent tears falling down his face to match her own. 

“I love you”

It escaped him in a breathless whisper, almost like he hadn’t even realized he’d said it. A habit formed over time, a barely recognized action, so normal and so comfortable that it hardly merited notice. She forgot how to breathe. The words meant nothing and everything. They confused and elated her. Sent her spiraling and grounded her. Her heart beat became erratic and she whimpered as her hand fell away from his chest. The concern returned to his eyes as he watched her, cupping her face in his hands, searching for recognition, for reciprocation, anything that he had once seen and longed to see again. 

“Remember me”

It was a quiet urging, but the plea ripped through her, tearing apart what little she had held on to, shredding the part of her that was capable of thought until all that was left was the pain. The tears flowed fresh down both of their faces as he tried to soothe her, but she was lost to the storm, pressing her hands to her head in an attempt to keep it from breaking apart. She couldn’t even make a noise, and it wasn’t long before she felt his magic washing over her again as a fog settled into her addled mind. It erased the pain, but it also erased her. The small fragments that had survived, the barely out of reach memories, the sense of self was obscured in a purple haze that left her feeling listless and weak. She settled, her eyelids sagging, her breath evening, her heartbeat calming in time with his. He smoothed her hair down carefully, like he was afraid she would shatter at the slightest touch, and his face twisted in grief. He shook his head as he continued to soothe her, urging her silently to forget, just to let go and start over. Her eyes started to close, sleep was threatening to take her, and she welcomed the oblivion of it. He leaned over her and gently pressed his lips to her forehead as she slipped into unconsciousness.

“I will wait for you”

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first post, I’m nervous as hell but figured it should stop languishing away on my google drive! I haven’t decided if I want to expand on this or not, for now it’s a one shot, but let me know if more is better :)


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